I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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