3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
