You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You took a bar mat shot.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
