try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
