i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
