weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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