Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
