I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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