Welp...herpes.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
