it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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