I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
two words...techno handjob
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She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
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You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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