I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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