you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize