carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Life without a bra equals bliss.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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