just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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