White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
