make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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