Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
