Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
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