Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
