The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Couch. On fire.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
