tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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