you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
