there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
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