I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize