I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
