Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
