never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
