I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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