Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just cut my nipple shaving
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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