You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
