I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
