I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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