Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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