I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
accomplished twins. life is a go
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
