Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?

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(914): View more from New York

I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(504): View more from Louisiana

Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON

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(914): View more from New York

Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.

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(516): View more from New York

There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.

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(417): View more from Missouri

He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.

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