It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
