Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
In America we eat man semen.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
