I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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