that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
