how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
