so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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