she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
