The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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