yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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