Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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