I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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