I never want to see another naked old woman again.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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