Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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