does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
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