she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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