why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
