how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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