I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
