im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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