im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
