Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
