My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
