Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
