2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
