is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
