I feel like abortions should bother me more
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Quick, to the slutcave!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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