Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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