wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
